Saturday, July 10, 2010

2 hours...

(Translation):

The moon, not far away now, a full bright silver, perfect disc...Otto SChwarz Von Blitzenkruz, Lietung-Direktor aus Herrschaden stood and straightened his cap, smoothed his winter wolfs-fur cloak and walked to the door of his chamber. Opening it and striding through as only a Direktor can stride, guards from the Schwerstahl Grenadiers lining the tomb-like niches clicked heels, presented arms and stood straighter than they already were, eyes to front, blank - to the point of breaking - tough men, hard as granite, scarred, all had been in hellfire and wounded, disfigured, shot, stabbed - yet when he strode, they were like compliant puppies, no-one sane would want a life sentence in the Liebregt, would they?

At the far end of the corridor, there was a gathering. The Direktors of Herrschaden, all branches. Everyone was early - testimony to the gravitas itself - almost unbelievably even Wolfgang Ansbach-Hoffen, a martinet for time direktion, amongst a group known by outsiders as martinets for everything - especially time! As Von Blitzenkruz approached, the group fell silent, except for one - Direktorix Katarin Lahmia, with a flourish of plentiful skirt and more plentiful cleavage, she addressed Von Blitzenkruz, "Otto my dear, you look splendid". Von Blitzenkruz seemed to grow 8 inches and replied, "Thanks Katy, you dont scrub up so bad yourself", "Otto, you are such a silver-tounged, smooth talker", the incredibly stunning Direktorix purred in return.

"Hmhmpf", growled the ever stern Direktor Heinrich Wurzen - "I hate to break up the reunion Fraulein Direktorix, we have business to attend to". "Indeed", pronounced Direktor Walther Picklesturm. "Can we get on with it? I've got some other pressing business to attend to at one of my nightclubs", slurred Direktor Rupert 'de Poupre' De Perignon. "He's drunk and jealous again", Direktor Wolfgang Ansbach-Hoffen whispered to himself - "I'll make a note of that...."  

"Direktors, greetings", Otto Schwarz Von Blitzenkruz continued, "we are to sit at the board in just under two hours - the Governor will not be attending. I have been Direkted to issue the new Direktions. The second echelon of the board have been notified to standby, they will not be attending, the situation has changed, details will be revealed at the meeting. Until then, I suggest we have a drink - De Perignon! how many casks did you bring?.....

OIIIIIIIO 

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Morgenstern...

(Translation):

There it was again, that sound, scratching....he sat bolt upright, in an instant alert, ready "here they come" he thought. Then once again realized exactly where he was. That dream again - full meeting of all Direktors, a 'Governor of the board', some 'Herr Eye'? The cell was cold as ice, but he had awoken in a lather of sweat. The man was manacled to the wall of a cell 6ft by 6ft, the ceiling too low to stand. The manacle chains ran the length of the wall through unbreakable iron rings and were fixed near the iron door, which was actually a trapdoor in the ceiling.

The jangle of keys, bolts withdrawn and the door thrown back. He expected some food scraps thrown in and a bucket of ice water thrown over him. He looked up at the door and with a grin said "morgen". The grin faded into a snarl...then broadened into a beaming smile...

"Well, well, well....gut morgen Heinrich - come to pay me a visit after all?"

"QUIET IIOOIIIOI!", the loud thwack! sound of leather-bound hardwood marching cane striking on raw skin was audible like an echo, as the Unterdirektor present slashed at the man for his perceived insolence.

"Unterdirektor. You will not strike this man again. You, guard, unlock and remove him from this cell. Have him properly fed, cleaned and presented in uniform to me in the Kommondants office in two hours - I dont care if you need an entire element of the Liebregt to assist".

"Herr Direktor Wurzen, I must protest, under article 469, paragraph K, point (b) and I quote...."

Heinrich Wurzen slowly turned and stared at the Unterdirektor, who immediately stopped talking, ..."and I also alert you Herr Unterdirektor to article 469, paragraph K, point (c), I wont bother to quote - GUARD! replace this prisoner with this ex-Unterdirektor"

"Yawohl Herr Direktor!"

....laughter drifted up from the cell, deep, bass and full of mirth - "now thats what I like aout you Heinrich, I see things haven't changed - did you miss me?"

Direktor of Infantry, Heinrich Wurzen looked down at the man as the now defunct ex-Unterdirektor was dragged screaming into custody and stripped by two massive Liebregt guardsmen. "Otto wants to see you - by moonrise - do we really need that element of guard?"

Again, the laugh, now highly tinged with cynacism - "I'll get there myself Heinrich, I dont need any 'Direktions', with more laughter.

"Guards, release this man, now. He is coming with me. Throw that - pointing to the bound and gagged ex-Unterdirektor - in this cell, 5 years solitary confinement, then 20 years service, Liebregt, effective immediately".

"Yawohl Herr Direktor"

The shackles unlocked and removed, the freed prisioner was able to stand, though required some small assistance to climb out of the cell. He kicked out instantly and smashed in the face of the bound ex-unterdirektor, removing the gag, half a dozen shards of splintered teeth and broken jaw bone fell onto the floor, the nose completely mashed. One swift grip and collar bone shatterd, elbow disjointed, the howl of agony stopped only with a mercifully quick knock-out blow, rendering the mauled ex-unterdirektor unconscious. All in such a split second, no guard could even react....

"Guard! Stand fast! Throw him in the cell, we are leaving...Happy now?"

"I was just warming up Heinrich".

"I told him, I told him you wouldn't change...we meet in three hours - you know where. After all, you dont need 'any Direktions', do you?"

The man smiled, "Nah Heinrich, it's way too much fun without it"...

...Direktor Wurzen turned and walked down the dank corridor to the stairs, relieved to be leaving the cells and determined to return to his office block, well away from the Liebregt barracks. Once outside, he was approached by Direktor Walther Picklesturm.

"Well Heinrich, what did he say?"

"What do you reckon Walther - I told you and I told Otto, he wont change"

"Where is he - Otto expressly direkted..."

"By moonrise, he will be there, he will make his own way - undirekted - lets get out of here, I'm heading straight to Blitzenkruz, there is plenty of time before the meeting"

The two Direktors mounted their horses and rode off, each mulling over their own thoughts. If they could read each others minds, they might even be amused to know those thoughts were the same:

"STEINER"

OIIIIIIIO

     

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Abendstern....

(Translation):

ACHTUNG!

 "Herr Eye has called this meeting of the Direktorenschelle to hear, receive and obey
the conveyed Direktives - Take your places, NOW!"


Silence settles in the solidly enclosed and utterly soundproofed chamber as the full members of the Direktorat of Herrschaden board take their places along the straight edges of the gargantuan-sized pentagram-shaped table. Silently and without demure, each of the Direktors enter the chamber and seat themselves - the incredibly stunning Direktorix, Katarin Lahmia, called 'The Nightrider'; Direktor of Kavalry Rupert 'du poupre' De Perignon, his dress as usual, impeccible; The stern and absolute professional Direktor of Infantry, Heinrich Wurzen; sage-like Walther Picklesturm, Direktor of Science and Technology - a commensurate inventor and an utter rationalist; Direktor Wolfgang Ansbach-Hoffen - easily the most beauracratic on the board, an excellent administrator and so attentive to minor detail, he is considered by many as suffering from some form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder...

...the second echelon of board members also take their positions: recently appointed Direktor of Military Envoys Josepf Haltermann, recalled from the Schwabian Leauge, alongside his erstwhile collegue, also recently appointed Direktor of Special Operations Hans Wagemueller - both returned with credits from the Lifonlian War and appointed to the board. Direktor of Information, Nelnieh Trebor; Direktor of Inspection Albrecht Stern; Direktor of Investigation Maximillian Weiss; Direktor of Interrogation Bertholt Brecht and of course, the hardest of the hard - Direktor of Instruction Klaus 'Iron-Fist' Von Steuben...

...the 13th member of the board then took his seat at one of the pentagram points of the table - Lietung-Direktor Otto Schwarz Von Blitzenkruz himself, chairing the meeting.

It was uncommon for the entire 13 Direktors on the board to be present at a single meeting. Such a rare and unusual event was only ever convened by the overall Governor of the board, so the messenger bats had flown and such was the case now, Herr Eye himself was coming 'in the flesh', to overseer this meeting of the board. What thoughts went bidden or unbidden through the mind of any board member could never be known, for with deep rumbling and grinding noise, links clashing chain, a reverberating, bellowing howl, the screaming of lost and tortured souls, the crys of the damned, the pleas of the doomed - any and all of these sounds would have been sheer delight compared to the absolute peircing sound emitted as Herr Eye ascended onto the board table. Pulsating phosphorescants, dripping and oozing ozone, turning night into a darkness so absolute, that no sane human mind could possibly comprehend, let alone endure....

HERR EYE!!!!!!!

(to be continued)...OIIIIIIIO   

  


Monday, July 5, 2010

Direktive....

(Translation):

OSVB: (whispered) "Ansbach-Hoffen".

WAH: (jumps) Jawohl Herr!.....

OSVB: Shut up idiot! I want Direktor Wurzen and Direktor Picklesturm in here, before NOW!

..................some time later (translation continues)...

OSVB: Good gentlemen - sit down - get back in here Wolfgang, your'e in on this too.....

....both Kat and de Perignon are back - reports are in. The EYE has made the decision - you will be instrukted at the board meeting. Dont talk, dont ask, dont even breathe - and make bloody sure you bring Steiner with you....

(all present emit an audible gasp):

..and in unison: STEINER! Are you mistaken Otto....

OSVB: Is this the face of somone who has just made a mistake - just bring Steiner at moonrise, NOW get out - I'm busy till then......

YI: Are they gone Otto?

OSVB: Ah my Princess, of course they are, you are such a lovely thing - now where were me my dear? Tell me about this horrible husband of yours...what was his name again? Jorj?

YI: Otto, your'e so wonderful, but I would much rather talk about US....

OSVB: Of course my dear gorgeous-one....naturally, you are such a blonde.....


OIIIIIO

Konversation....

(Continual Translation):

KL: Otto, you haven't changed, what an old rouge you are - Yennifa seems to be quite taken - literally, she told me all about your 'speciality'....

OSVB: Kat. Enough for now, this is official - there is a full board meeting tomorrow - whats the report from Monte-Cristo?

KL: Spoilt-sport...very well "Herr Now-Person", hmpf:

The ship from Galatan has arrived and Hermann is taking care of it.

I have raised the first squadron of Light-Horse volunteers, uniforms and training all arranged. I have rigoursly tested the riding skills of each and every man and can personally attest to their manhood, they are very, very robust - with amazing endurance and skill, both individually and in prolonged group sessions - some have been nothing less than utterly incredible in the saddle and I can tell you, the regimental Colonel is magnificent.....

OSVB: I get the picture Kat, spare me the gory details - what of the Ordo?

KL: Well I was getting to that....totally expunged from Monte-Cristo. Definitely confirmed overt operatives in Galatan - we think it's the 13th again.

OSVB: Yennifa told me how you met - that was pure fortune - we have an opening. We have an operation involving many elements - Herr Eye is ready to announce it. Go and hang around somewhere - the board meets at the moonrise.....

KL: Ah Otto - this is fun, I hate being bored, can I go to Langdouc too?

OSVB: We'll see what the Herr Eye says Kat...we will ALL see my dear....

OIIIIIIO

 

Introduction....

(Translated from recording documents):

WAH: Herr Lietung-Direktor!

OSVB: What is it Ansbach-Hoffen, dont just stand there with your tounge lolling on the ground - Direkt yourself man!

WAH: It's, she, arrived - here, now!

OSVB: "It's - she" - what - who?

WAH: The Direktorix Katarin Lahmia and a guest Herr L........

OSVB: ANSBACH-HOFFEN!!!!!!!! Dont keep the lady waiting with your dithering sycophantry - allow her in - NOW!

WAH: At once! (withdraws)

KL: Otto, Otto my dear, whats all this fuss about - the shouting and yelling? Sounds like one of the all-male bordellos on the seamy side of downtown Monte-Cristo...how are you?

OSVB: Ah, Kat - great to see you in the flesh - may I ask who your guest is?

KL: Of coursssse Otto, come here my dear, Otto wont bite - just yet - now, Lietung-Direktor otto Schwarz Von Blitzenkruz, may I introduce you to Princess Yennifa Icaska de Lille, of LANGDOUC  - Yennifa my darling, this is Otto.....

OSVB: Oh my dear, what a most lovely surprise, what an absolute honour and pleasure for you to meet me.....

YI: Katy, you never told me how handsome Lietung-Direktor Von.......

OSVB: Please my dear lady, call me Otto - we have so much to talk about, you and I - in private....

OIIIIIIIO 

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Return...

...(translation):

W: Rupert, your'e back - have a decent time?

R: Cant complain Wolfgang, is he in?

W: Oh yes and waiting - you know he doesn't like to wait, such a 'now' person....
R: yeah, got it....

ANSBACH-HOFFEN! Send him in....!
W: At once Herr Lietung-Direktor (enjoy yourself Rupert...)

R: Herr Lietung-Direktor, reporting as instructed.

OSVB: Direktor Perignon......what kept you - wings clipped? Now - the lot, the South-East, how did it go?

R: Bit of a lark, few casualities, large cavalry engagement - the Oesterschadeners performed perfectly as direkted. The galloper-gun concept is more than sound, I suggest enabling a complete battery for each cavalry command. The battalion headquaters advisory Unterdirektors committee have advised the newly raised Monte-Criston volunteers battalion be maintained on establishment. We should deploy in brigade strength in the region.....

OSVB: Good. Then the independent reports are reconciled. You will return and maintain command in the distrikt. Two regular battalions will be posted within two moons. The galloper-guns will be raised to a full battery. The Oebel Dragoons order you gave has been recinded - they have another job - another light cavalry regiment will be deployed to brigade with the Oesterschadeners. Direktorix Katarin is flying in tonight - you leave in three days.

R: Very good Herr Lietung-Direktor.

OSVB: I didn't ask for your approval de Perignon - there is a full meeting of the board in two days time. The Herr Eye has listed the new Direktion to be undertaken, that is all, begone...

ANSBACH-HOFFEN! In here NOW!

W: (under his breath)..."such a 'now' person"........

OIIIIIIIO